Eliane’s Kinky Birthday Party

I am generally not a particularly jealous person.  No, I don’t have everything I’d always dreamed about in life, but I know I have it pretty good.  So I rarely begrudge others experiences and joys that aren’t available to me– except for the small matter of Eliane’s parties.

I read with amused wonder about the goings-on at her party for Graham-the-Girl, more than a little jealous as it was actually Graham’s *second* Kinky Eurotrip, while I had yet to make even one. Then, as I followed Eliane’s Kinky Housewarming Party on Twitter, the green-eyed monster was in full form.  Clearly, I had to Take Steps to deal with this issue.  So when the third party was scheduled, I bought a plane ticket, counting on Eliane’s English manners to allow me in the house even as she threatened to lock me in The Sged (sic) instead.

That part of the plan worked well, but there was one factor I really hadn’t considered fully: I would be going to a spanking party with 30 people the day after my birthday– a rather dangerous proposition! Indeed, as Eliane informed me repeatedly, the party would occur much closer to my birthday than to hers, so the birthday spankings could be mine. I replied that even Americans have better manners than that: it was her birthday party, after all, and I could never deprive her of that hono(u)r. Of course, the solution to this problem is clear, and there were plenty of birthday spankings to go around.  Eliane thoughtfully made sure that everyone knew in advance that I shouldn’t be left out.

As it turned out, the party was the culmination of two days of birthday celebrations that began with Eliane’s perfect gift package for the kinky birthday girl (chocolate and *lots* of lotion). This was followed by a truly lovely joint birthday lunch at a Michelin-starred restaurant, and best of all, the arrival of Emma Jane with Master Retep and Bandree in tow. That meant the party had officially begun, even if there was still hoovering to be done, rooms to be tidied and potato salad to be made. (Thanks for doing my share, too, Bandree!)

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know that I can’t give a blow-by-blow account of the action, but some of the highlights for me included:

• Collapsing chairs.  Master Retep went down first as the stool (end table?) on which he was perched fell apart.  After an examination of the wreckage, he announced that Eliane clearly needed a bigger screw.  I followed suit an hour or so later, when I tried to rise from my rickety pub chair to greet Ian the London Tanner. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor, Master Retep’s beer was all over the table, and people were flocking to ask me if I was alright.  Amazingly, it didn’t hurt at all.  I suppose that’s what hardening one’s backside over time does!

Irelynn Logeen’s exclamation upon entering the house: “Oh, it’s so tidy!” I think she just said that because she really wanted to sleep in the shed.

• Kama Sutra cookies.  They were made by a vanilla friend of Eliane’s, so they looked more like this:

than like this:

(Images from here)

• An hour or so of somewhat surreal meeting and greeting another couple dozen people, some of whom, like the Lowewood crowd, I’d “known” on-line for years.  It felt almost as though I was stepping into an alternate reality, which I’d only viewed as a spectator before.  That I was also plied by unexpected birthday gifts left, right, and center was both wonderful and overwhelming.  You people are so very lovely!

• Bandree’s explanation that an incense holder was really a dildo.  For leprechauns, maybe?

• Distracting Eliane while the human birthday cake was assembled.  This involved accompanying Abel and Eliane upstairs as the former scolded the latter rather vaguely about some horrible ostensible offense.  The dialogue didn’t change much when we’d closed the bedroom door behind us. “What have I done?” “Well, if you don’t know, then we’ll have to see if some well-deserved spanking brings it back to mind!” “No, seriously what have I done?” “Get back here, young lady!”

After a while, I felt a bit soft-hearted and told Eliane that she *really* couldn’t leave the bedroom just yet.  At which point she looked relieved and laughed. Abel scolded me for letting the cat out of the bag and Eliane wasn’t above suggesting that I be spanked for that– she’d be happy to stay in the room to watch. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished!

Fortunately, the cake made even Abel’s hand worthwhile!

• The Girls’ Night Out (GNO) birthday floggings. I’m not exactly sure how the Girls normally manage these birthday floggings, as they seem to meet in bars in London most of the time, but nonetheless, there appeared to be a firm tradition: the birthday girl gets six with the flogger from all others in attendance. I walked back into the room to find Eliane over the end of the couch, being attended to by one beautiful woman after the next.  Then Jessica proposed that I be made an honorary member of the GNO gang so that I could have a go, too.  Obviously, I accepted enthusiastically, even if my first action was not to whack Eliane, but to give her a break by allowing myself to be flogged in by a few of the gang first. That’s sort of like being told you’ll have to have a lovely glass of wine or two before you can have any chocolate!

• A caning tutorial provided by Abel with Sarah as his demonstration model.  That was fun, and Sarah was lovely, if apparently impervious to pain!  Of course, there was the instructor’s fee to be paid at the end, and I believe Irelynn collected on Sarah’s behalf.

• My undying gratitude (and utter astonishment) that Eliane missed a chance to throw me under the birthday bus after enduring all those spankings to truly awful, dirge-like renditions of Happy Birthday. I’m sure her singer’s ear just couldn’t take any more!

• My birthday strapping from the London Tanner.  More on that later. For now, OUCH!

• Being told, “I’ve always wanted to spank an American.”  Which just goes to show you, some people can get away with any old line!

• Topping quite a bit more than I usually do– and, really, for the first time in public.  I enjoyed that quite a bit!  It was especially nerve-wracking when Sarah’s man called on me to cane her late in the evening.  I demurred.  He insisted. I objected that I couldn’t really use a cane.  He insisted.  I objected that I probably wasn’t sober enough.  He continued to insist, probably because Sarah objected that I was too vicious. Having discovered that my not-so-submissiveness has limits when I’m faced with certain tops, I obediently trooped over to take up the cane.  What followed was a difficult five or ten minutes in which I was to give Sarah ten strokes, but if they weren’t hard enough, they didn’t count.  Sorry, Sarah– I really tried to make each one count!

• Watching Abel and Emma Jane play, he caning her very, very hard, and she cheerfully asking for another twelve, another six, etc. And the poor woman was ill with the flu that night– not that you’d know it except for the motherly types checking her forehead for fever from time to time.

• Being forced, by the same Emma Jane, to dance to the St. Trinian’s theme song, along with Eliane, Irelynn, and, fortunately for me, Cate Stoker, who had also only seen the film once.  We just about got the chorus down by the end.

• The Cheesecake Jenga war. I missed the actual battle, but surely the trash-talking before and wailing and gnashing of teeth afterwards were more dramatic.

• Getting spanked the next morning by Stephen Lewis.  Northern Spanking models, you have my sincere admiration!

• And last, but not least, enticing Eliane not only to top, but to do so with gusto.  I’ll have you know this didn’t happen without a certain amount of sacrifice on my part.  Not only did I have to take about three floggings from her before she relaxed completely and enjoyed whacking me as hard as she could, but I also had to soothe her conscience by giving her cheeky excuses to keep going.  It was difficult, but sometimes one must suffer to help a friend in need.  Especially if she throws parties the way Eliane does!

8 responses to “Eliane’s Kinky Birthday Party

  1. A fantastic summary of some quite memorable moments from that party! I fully concur.. a fantastic effort on Elianne’s part.

    Now. If you could just confirm your comment regarding my desire to spank an American was made with no sarcasm whatsoever, we can move on. Else, when we next meet, I will demonstrate with utmost vigour, my joy at spanking a cheeky girl not just from the good old US of A, but from downtown indianapolis to boot….

  2. Actually, sixotb, I was serious! Only someone as charming as you could have made that line work. And arranged F/F scenes for his own amusement throughout the evening…

    As for the threats, please notice that I made no mention of the tent. Thanks!

  3. What a lovely report of a lovely party, and rest assured, in my opinion you DID make every stroke count…thank you😉

  4. Hello, Sarah! Lovely to see you here and even more lovely to finally meet you in person! I hope I’ll have the pleasure again before too much time goes by. I’ll practice caning in the meantime in case your man decides to be doubly sadistic like that again…

  5. @Irelynn: that downfall was rather graceful– certainly more so than mine in the pub. But when he missed the Infamous F’ing Step,well, I’m told that was less pretty.

    @Eliane: Oh, I think you have to take credit for the party, my dear. Like getting me beaten, it was a group effort, but you played the leading role. Actually, maybe more so in the party than at getting me beaten– you had lots of willing help there!

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